switching gears, again

Yeah, forget what I just said. I changed my mind again about the headache posts. I said what I said in a weird haze of drugs and pain in an attempt to self-censor myself. I do that far too often. I'll say what I want and you'll have to deal with it and shut up.

I watched the entire first season of Weeds tonight. Normally I wouldn't have time to do that but I was loaded up with drugs and dizzy as hell and couldn't do much else. I couldn't even leave my office I was so fucked up. I'm still woozy now. Anyway, I love this show. I think it's brilliant. I kind of wish I had Showtime so I could watch it regularly. Thank Lucifer for free TV shows pirated on the internet.

no more headache posts

Rather than bore you all to death about how much excruciating pain I am in day in and day out, I will keep all cluster headache agony related posts to the twitter updates on the side. I'm boring myself.

i hate these drugs

i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs
i hate these drugs

when it rains it pours

I slept all day today and got nothing accomplished. I needed to repay my sleep debt. I have been losing hours of sleep all week and it finally caught up with me. I don't like days like this, especially when I could have been doing a million other productive things. As a result, I'm in the office now at 9pm, toiling away at the computer and I'm wide awake and I have no idea when I'll get to bed and no plans for the night. I think I'll watch the beginning of Battlestar Galactica because i'm allowed to watch those alone. I'm in the middle of my BSG education and I don't want to move forward without my tutor. My hot tutor. I hope she likes the flowers. (I also hope she doesn't read this before she gets them. Frak.)

By opening the door on one opportunity (read: kicking the door in and blowing an air horn), I inadvertently close the door on another. Due to my experiences, I've learned to weigh carefully the decisions that I make, because some of them tend to change the course of your life. You may not think so early on, but chaos theory wins out. If Star Trek has taught us anything, it is that the timeline is a precious, delicate thing. I try to see the future as best I can from this vantage point. I believe this road will yield good things, so I will follow it. I need all the happiness I can get now, because dark times are ahead. Other unavoidable life, work, and family drama are on the horizon. The headaches have also returned.

Still, I cannot help but feel good, and alive.

It's raining out. There's lightning, and a full moon.


currently listening to: megadeth

awesome.

Things appear to be going in the direction of awesome, with the notable exception of my head. I have been fighting off the urge to self-inflict massive cranial damage to end this headache for the greater part of the day and my stomach is upset from taking pain meds. However, I am without doubt that my outward resolve was entirely worth it. Sleep will be a difficult proposition, for reasons of head pain, stomach pain, and a fluttering whimsy at my curious windfall of ridiculous luck. Barry had a very good night.

currently listening to: the prodigy